Where has time gone?
Hello everyone, thank you for visiting and once again tuning in to another post of mine, where I write about what is going on in my life. I appreciate the visits and reads, and hope this blog gives you a bit of insight into my life, who I am, and hope to allow you into my world more and more as time goes on. Once again, using OmmWriter to write this post, which is awesome for helping concentration. Now, on to the meat, as it were.
I'll go ahead and start my writing about the newest addition to my life. My boyfriend. A.K.A. Nova (The GShep Momdog), he's been a friend of mine or someone I can look up to for a number of months now, and even though we are far apart, we are still seeing each other (in person!) once a month or so. We are being all sorts of silly and affectionate when we talk as well. I'm slowly coming around to admitting to myself that I have a heart that can still function romantically. I love you Nova.
On the topic of love, I'm... still so scared to admit to myself that there is a heart deep down inside. I've tried to bury it so much, under all this dirt that's been piled on top of it, the comments, the stupid reasons people broke up with me. In reality, I need to take some of my mom's advice and realize most of these breakups weren't my damn fault, it was the other person's. As Ryan taught me, or tried to show me, I'm a diamond... a blue diamond. I take that as a diamond in the rough. Something to be treasured. As to why no one until now (relationship wise, not friendship wise, just to spell that out) realizes that I'm worth half a damn, is beyond me.
What a weird journey love is. It completely destroys you at times, other times makes you feel like you've got the biggest adrenaline rush in the world, and other times, it just hurts. Because no matter how much you want to try to say it doesn't exist or "relationships aren't for me", you fall for someone. Whether it be months, years or even longer after before that comes true, it will happen. The ability to love is both a wonderful thing and a awful thing all at once. I've... been wanting someone to share my life with, and I think I've found that person. Thank you, Nova.
On another note, work's been going well, passing some tests, "moving on up" as they say. Finally, a job where I can feel like I'm making some progress and helping others all at the same time. Helping everyone as a whole. It's a good feeling. I'm glad to be where I am, and it's nice to see new faces with the same spunk and energy I have, wanting to learn. Wanting to absorb all the information they can. I've been living and breathing internet particles since I was about 10 or so, so this is all coming on pretty easy for me.
As for the rest of my life, things are going pretty well. Allergies have been acting up a lot this past week, but as far as I understand from my doctor, this year is more severe than past years have been for that. Not looking forward to summer, but I never do. Sunny and cold would be the perfect weather all year long for me. I miss the nice brisk mornings. Getting to wake up, relax, take a deep breath, perhaps a walk. Enjoy the morning, for the beauty it holds. I still find sunrises to be the more beautiful of the two options for the day star's visibility.
Now that I've got my allergies a bit more under control, I'm going to try to go out a bit more and either do some more modeling or photo shoots as the photographer. I've been leaving a few things out of my life too much during these last few months, and I need to jump back in. Headfirst. Photography, bondage, practicing drawing, singing, and just being generally happy. Also, within the next 2 years, I plan to concentrate a bit more on my health, so far I'm already drinking more water, which has been a step I haven't been able to take for years.
Short of that, I need to get to a gym and work out, even if it's just by myself, I'm nearing the 200 mark now, and don't feel like going above it. If I do hit that mark, I absolutely have to do something to stay under it or work to get more fit. Fitness is the hardest thing for anyone to do, but in the long run, it pays off, you age better, and feel better as well. It's also nice to have something to show for it. The nice thing is, I've been under significantly less stress since I've moved to the job I'm at. I'm not breaking out (acne) as much, and things just feel more... calm.
In closing, I'd like to bring up something that happened just today actually, that felt rather nice. A friend needed help. I'd been there before. So... many times, really. You can't always plan for the worst to keep happening to you. Even if you do, the worst just keeps coming sometimes. So, I lent a helping paw, and he'll return the favor when he can. Someone to be appreciative of something I do for them, is ... a blessing, almost. It's such a good feeling. A warm feeling inside, that you only can get from genuinely helping someone. The best part is, he'll know that feeling too. He'll get to do it one day, and know what I'm talking about.
Well, everyone, this was I suppose a short post, but that's... the way it is. Good night, and good luck.
