I couldn't have wished for anything more.
On this wonderful evening in November, I'm writing again. A few things have spurred this occasion: I just got back from a furry convention. I also have been overdue for a long while in terms of updates as to how my life has been going in terms of work, love, and just life in general. I've also not had a chance to generally vent or express my emotions or thoughts unless it was to a specific person. A few people have commented when they see my blog that it's been a while since I've posted (obviously), so without further ado, away we go!
First on my list of things to go over is how the last weekend of my life went. I went to an absolutely wonderful furry convention called MidWest Fur Fest and it is held near Chicago, IL. It was my first visit to that area, or the state of Illinois in general. As I got on the plane with my boyfriend (Aaron) and one of my pups (Drew), I felt a little nervous. What was this con going to hold in store for me? I'd already forgotten my backpack of possible importance (Turned out to be nothing more in there than my tablet and some warmer clothes), who knew what would happen next? Who would I meet? How many people would I meet? Would it just be another let down? You see, I've been attending a local convention to San Jose called Further Confusion since 2006 or so. It's evolved a bit and certainly has grown. So much so now, we've moved into a convention center, and not just a hotel anymore. As the years have gone by though, it's felt less and less fun. No one new, no new panels, and no new... anything really. Understandably, I was a bit nervous.
The first night was a bit frosty at about 28 degrees in the middle of the night, but that was really not all that bad compared to other weather I've experienced. Perhaps because I was never out in the cold long while there. At this point, I'm going to start using nicknames, and I apologize. I met up with one of my other pups (Chris), Royal, Cyan, Dusk, and a number of others. Most of the weekend was a bit of a blur in terms of how many people I met that I'd been talking to for months or even years. I am still a bit in shock at how well all of it went. I also met up with a good friend I'd met in Michigan some years ago (Osaka). At first, I thought it was going to be a bit lonely, but as I wandered and found more people just talking, and enjoying each other's company it was less hard to just sit down and people watch, or randomly say hello. One thing I noticed about the midwest, or maybe it's just this con, but... people seemed more homely, more friendly, more... happy. Out here, it seems people are so rushed and caught up in doing everything they can in 5 days that it's impossible to get a hello in.
Thursday night, I ended up getting my registration all settled for the con, and milling about meeting people. Friday night, I got to hang out and meet a few more of my boyfriend's friends, Luna and Lupine and Trace. A event occurred that night that basically made my life almost flash before my eyes and to realize just who I have sleeping beside me each and every night. I had a good emotional breakdown that night and I think let down any possible walls I had to Aaron. He read me like a book in terms of how I was feeling that night, and it was eye opening. I have always been known to wear my heart on my shoulder, but it was most apparent that night. I realized if I lost him, I'd likely lose everything I've worked towards. I not only work towards making myself happy anymore, but I also work towards making a better life for me, Aaron, and our pups. I've never experienced the death of a person, but I think I'll safely say now, I never want to. I'm not prepared for it. I love you, Aaron. With all of my heart.
Saturday night was a introspective night, in that we went down to the last main dance of the convention. As I watched as everyone got their groove on, I realized then that I always want to be young at heart, but I often still try to act older than I am. I was reminded of a off the cuff remark a friend had made towards me once in which he asked if I was living vicariously through him. I think as we get older, we have no choice but to do so. I look at my pups, and am reminded of the youth I had, and the energy. It's amazing to me to see the life of those around me, and enjoy each and every moment with them. Aaron and I both realized this weekend we're pretty much the closest we'll ever be to parents right now, and it's invigorating and a bit scary all at the same time. To know you can have such an impact on a person's life is ... weird. I never thought I would have the chance. Though if I think back on it, I suppose I've influenced many people in my life time. I've helped so many people, and made quite a impression on them to where they may never forget me. I know I won't forget them. Drew and Chris, you're the best pups I could ever have. Thank you.
Sunday was the last day with Chris, and I sometimes have a hard time reading him, but on this night, we both got to see a bit of him I know I myself am honored to have seen. Our parting goodbyes were sad, and it's always heartwarming to have someone cry in front of you/in your arms. One, because they trust you enough that they are willing to open themselves up to you completely in at least a small way to show that they are indeed human. I called him a Troopski, because I was reminded at that moment of when my half sister told me in the hospital I was a trooper. I told Chris he was gonna be a little troopski, because I know deep down inside he's a strong guy, and when he needs to, he can pull that strength together as well as remember he has 3 rocks he can lean on if he needs it. The beginning of the day was neat as I got to see the first dance competition I'd ever seen at a furry convention. It was put together well, and aside from sound issues, and a performer or two, the rest of the show was rather fantastic. So much untapped talent. I'm proud of Drew, who placed 3rd in the competition. Your hard work and patience paid off again, pup.
As I came across the rest of the performers through the rest of the evening, I told them what a great job they did and that it was great getting to watch them. After that, I was a little reflective, as I wandered around the convention as it was all ending. I went to the Dead Dog dance, which was well, dead... and happened upon Skrat as I came out. More untapped talent, and realization as to just how underappreciated some of us are, and if some people just gave more than a first glance, they'd see what we are truly capable of. I got tired and headed to bed for another night of sleep which was lacking. Thankfully my last to round out the convention. Monday was the usual end of a convention, but at this event I walked away from a number of people knowing that I'd see them again. To all the friends I met at MFF: Thank you. You made my convention worth it. To all the staff of MFF: Thank you as well. Very transparently behind the scenes doing everything to keep the con running smoothly. Sadly, I miss the doubletree warm cookies already.
As me and Aaron and Drew got on the plane home, Aaron was stepping forward with what I can only describe as a "wedding pace". I joked: "Oh come on, hurry up, you're not at a wedding... yet." We both smiled and had some wonderful things to talk about on the plane ride home, and then the drive home with Drew sleeping every chance he could. All in all, a great weekend. It was quite literally what I needed, and could not have wished for anything more this weekend. I got closer to my mate, my pups, and some friends. People I have missed in this post that I met at the con: The Irate Fox, Apollo, ISOWolf, Bobcat, Vaska, and so many others. I apologize if I forgot your name, but if I met you, thank you for hanging out! It was a lot of fun, and I look forward to seeing you again.
I think that's all for now. This week is Thanksgiving, and I'll try to be making another post on that day mentioning all that I'm thankful for. I have a awful lot now I didn't have this time last year. By the way, if you would like to see the pictures me and Aaron took during the convention, feel free to click this little link: MidWest FurFest 2011 Pictures
Until next time, everyone. Good night, and good luck.
