A long (post) time running
Hello everyone, I know it’s been a very long time since I have actually written a blog post, but hopefully today will make up for that. Of course the only time I can manage to do it is if I have not much else to do, so I am writing this post on Caltrain as I head up to San Francisco. A lot has happened since the last time I wrote a blog post. I’ve started 2 jobs, had some rather good luck in my life, with its ups and downs. Between my photography, and trying to delve headfirst into work, I’ve had little to no time to really keep up with any of my friends locally. I do apologize for that. I don’t suppose it’s not for lack of trying though. But on to the things that have been keeping me pre-occupied over the past 6+ months.
First on my mind is work. I now work just a short commute from home, with better hours and better scheduling in general. 2010 wasn’t terribly kind to me, but it does appear 2011 and on will be working out better for me. I’m terribly thankful for that. In other work related details, I’ve tried to turn my hobby of photography into something worth more than just a hobby, but that seems to have failed for the most part. And you know what? I’m quite ok with that. With my brief experience of having a gig, it doesn’t seem that’s for me. I’m enjoying the models I get to do TFCD or TFP work with much more. And with no partner in crime to work with, I can do what I want when I want. In terms of my job, I’m still doing technical work. And I get to learn in my new job, which has been something I’ve aimed towards for a number of years.
As for myself, I feel I’ve certainly changed in the past year. My last job did manage to allow me to be ok with not having almost anyone in my life. I’ve burned a number of bridges in 2010, and that mostly has to do with no longer having patience for the type of people who have no respect for my time or courtesy. I may be too… how would one put it, outspoken or even bitchy, but I’d say that’s a result of being burned one too many times. Deep down inside, I’m still the same happy fluffy person most of you know, but I’ve grown a hard outer shell that’s much harder to get through. This is not to say that those of you I have seen or communicated with in the past I hate or anything like that. I do thoroughly enjoy the company I have and want to share the both the good times and the bad with each and every one of my friends.
Speaking of friends, in terms of love life, I’m still alone. That’s ok, it’s tiring, but it’s ok. Had some possibilities, but all of which have been long distance. This is not saying I don’t want to do that again, but I just don’t know if deep down inside if I’m ready to try that expense again yet. I think 2011 might be a year where I do more of what I started doing in 2010 where I explored the dreams and whatnot I have. Whether it be to get more fit (We’ll see how well that works out) or to actually explore singing to the extent I’ve wanted to all my life. I’ve found the more I get to explore these things, the less I have to be envious of other people for. I get to be in those people’s shoes and realize it may or may not be for me. This is not to say I ever want to be full of myself. I never wanted that as a kid, and certainly don’t now. If I do seem like I boast sometimes, please let me know. Constructive criticism is always welcome.
At this point, I’d like to apologize if I’ve been too “all over the place” in this post, but this is more of a free write than a structured, paragraph by paragraph, well written essay. At this point, I’d like to thank a certain friend of mine, Syke who pointed out something to me in one of our recent talks. I’d mentioned my frustrations in life recently, and he pointed out that everything is going well for me right now. I would have to agree. Literally the only thing missing is what used to be a lot of friends to hang out with, and a love life. Work is great, my hobbies that I do get around to are great, and I get a big kick out of accomplishing more in both of those things. Home life is good, with my roommates being my saviors from me going absolutely nuts. My health right now doesn’t seem the best, but I’m working to fix that as well.
Between being sick for basically the month of December, and now having some weird sort of heartburn thing going on, it’s been what feels like too long since I’ve felt “normal” with regards to my health. I’ve taken care of my acne, which has been a major dissatisfaction with myself for years. I’ve gotten a new piercing (Thank those of you that voted). I’ve thought about other permanent changes to my appearance, but a tattoo is going to require some more thought and time before that happens. I can’t really think of anything else regarding my health to talk about, I suppose.
I’d also like to thank my friend Denali for saying one of the kindest things to me that has quite possibly ever been said to me, and my friend Bill for being there for me on those days when I’ve been absolutely sour (Def: When I shouldn’t be talking to people). It’s kind of funny, when I wanted to take my photography a little more seriously, I started setting up a home office. It’s definitely gone way past that now, but I think now I kind of want to work on making it feel more attractive in terms of eye-catching. Lots of photos of my friends or models on the wall, but one of my goals I suppose is to cover all of my walls with pictures of my friends. If you’d like to help me with that, please let me know. I’d absolutely love to achieve that goal quicker. Next station stop: San Carlos.
I miss taking the train, it was always nice to know I was going somewhere fun, somewhere out of the house. Today I’m off to what I hear should be a fun time doing modeling for seriousmalebondage.com. Another reason I’m glad I’m not just a photographer. I do enjoy modeling an awful lot, and it’s nice to feel like I’m still attractive, even as I start to approach my 30’s. I need to make yet another list (Yes, another, for those of you who have seen my room lately) that lists some of these goals I’m trying to set for myself. It helps me keep myself in check and remind myself of things I might have otherwise forgotten. I should also aim to try to write a blog post a month at least. I do enjoy this writing thing, and heck who knows, maybe it’d be fun to write a book one day. It seems I have absolutely no issue when it comes to writing a lot, but that may also be because I have a lot to say. At 26, I feel like I’ve experienced so much. That’s one lifestyle I’ve grown accustomed to for certain. The lifestyle of “enjoy life as much as possible and explore as many new things so that I can’t die saying I’ve never tried anything”. It’s a fun ride for sure, kind of like some of my rides on the train (he says with a smirk).
Looks like it’s time for another carriage return. This post is at 1,300 words and counting, which seems like a nice place to stop. It’s funny, at this point; I reminisce of when I would read over my older writing and realize that my writing style hasn’t changed much. At least not when free writing. Hillsdale now, close to one of my previous homes. Oh Belmont, you pit stain of a town. Well, with the end of this post, I leave you the reader with this question: What would you like to see me write about next? I might split up the posts with part opinion article, and part what’s going on with my life. Until next time everyone. Good night, and good luck.
